Thursday, November 03, 2005 • 10:54:00 PM
Yea...todae supposed to be a happy hari raya.
Firstly, happie hari raya to all malays out thr! maaf zahir dan batin. sorrie if i ever hurt u...hv a happie hari raya, yar?!Yea..so happie to all of u malays.
But nt to myself.
I stayed at hm todae. Didn't go out. My cousin and aunt called just now. I'm sorrie i sounded grumpy. I was so sad and angry! My fam...they heck le. like todae is nothing. yea i woke up late but can wake mie up rite?
my aunt said wanna come...yea shd be they take public transport cuz my dad nt thr mah?! during the past, my dad is so-called the driver for us family cuz he drives a lorry. yea yea. but now no more. todae i mean. and yrs ago.
haiz...so sianz. my aunt called @ 1700 like tat. but until now they r nt here. maybe they don wan to come cuz we r nt thr. haiz. i asked her just now who were thr and she said everyone. so shd be my cousins too! unlike yrs ago, cuz onlie 3 of my aunts came our hse near midnite le. we wanted to sleep! but tat yr the next dae, my fam goes arnd on ourselves.
tis yr like don wan leh. i don feel the happiness le. i wanna die.
i'm so sad. i'm so sad.
sad.
angry.
disappointed.
wanna disappear.
don wan to face any1.
wth is happening to my life?
so sad and frustrating!
i'm getting depressed.
reallie!
feel like go off to some other country and live thr, take on a new identity.
yea rite.
no $$$ wan to tok big.
qualifications so low.
onlie 17 wanna tok big.
now as i'm typing, i hear a lorry and ppl toking happily downstairs. hopping it's my fam.
but i don tink so.
it's so late. they shd be at others' place.
i'm so sad.
tis is my life.
i can nv be happy for so long.
always been disappointed.
the tv! just shut up! wad hari raya? no raya for mie.
i'm so sad. so angry. so lifeless.
Thank You