Ruzaina
21 and FOREVER 18
Working + Slacking

You build me up
Crime Novels (eg. Micheal Connelly, Paul Johnston, J.D. Robb)
Shopping & Never Drops
HUGE Stuffed Toys
N5800
Asus K401N
Listening Ghost Stories
Watching Scary/Gory Shows While Closing Eyes
Black/Hot Pink/Purple/Brown
Mocha

You break me down
Princesses
Self-Centered
Sore Losers
Lies
Ignored
Interrupted
Scolded
Pests
Ya-ya PapayaS
K-POsss!

Ain't got no money in ma pocket
Coach Wristlet
THAT C & K Wallet
Blue Label Burberry Black with Pink Stripes Hobo
Ipod Nano (Pink/Green/Blue/Orange)
Micheal Connelly's Harry Bosch Whole Collection
Unlimited Money




Xinyi
Flora
Khalisah
Sarah
Nadia
Adillah
Widad
Helen
Hafiz
Dharina
Shuling
Suharti
Iswan
Joelyn
Farhana
Karim
Hazmi
Izzat
Yanling
Fariz
Saidah
Kak Yati
Filzah
Frana


•August 2005
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•December 2006
•January 2007
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•November 2009
•December 2009
•January 2010
•February 2010
•March 2010
•April 2010
•May 2010
•June 2010

sleeping now...nitez...mornings....=)

zzz...zzz...

Thank You

yepyep. on sat night till sunday afternoon went for family bbq. haha! it kept drizzling and stooped after every 5 mins. *lol* and it stretched till sunday also. even whn we went hm, it was drizzling. THEN it rained.

and it seemed that my cousins r getting pregnant one by one. *lol*

anyway...blah3x. i ate everyting different type of fd cept for corn and drank that frozen milo, that my sis bought frm her friends. =(

and i didn't really enjoy. u noe y? cuz i got gastric. crap. just crap. the morning...everyone was stuffing their mouth cept for me. CRAP. it just had to happen at that time. y nt todae? y nt whn i'm at hm? so i can sleep away...*sigh*

but with that aside, i had fun. it was a real breather frm sch and hm and my typical life.

nvm. this won't be the last. but thn again..no more hols until cny. don noe my cousin will organise again anot. but for all i noe, this cousin of mine and his wife (Abang Ali & Kak Faizah...er..don noe got 'H' anot. *lol*) loves to organise bbq. and his bro too, Abang Norman. =)

so maybe hv, maybe nt. i don noe. but thn...Abang Ali moved hse todae. Jumbo u noe! haha...and he's gonna hv an open hse on hari raya haji. =)

double hurray!!! and hari raya haji is a long hols too. muahaha...

oopsie!

and on sat night...er..sun mon...i just rmrbed tat i still hv struct tut to complete. *lol* and this bmt grp proj. but so far nv hear anything frm anyone. all busy le...nvm nvm.

and...the MOST IMPT THING!!!

i still haven study!!! my tests and exams r coming 2 wks after sch starts. crap! and alot ok! nt like last time...3-4 chaps. haiz...

ruzaina whn u gonna study? u wan to fail again issit? and repeat...huh?! u wan?!

just crap. just crap. i hate myself right now. i really do. so fucking lazy. crap.

Bleurgh!!!

Thank You

muahaha..i was surfing thru for Get Backers. and suddenly..came upon this webbie that provides links. erm...i can download mangas and animes frm thr. though the variety is nt much...but still!!! thr's gundam and get backers and inuyasha..full epis!!! muaha...

gonna start downloading the animes once this cd writer is back! shd be getting it by next yr. *sigh* and i'm getting my new hp next yr too. haha!!!

and tml gg for family overnight bbq. so hope it won't rain. i wanna eat!

*sigh* maybe shd't hv played now. if nt, ltr my sis will hog once she woke up till night. and i can't freaking sleep wif the lights on. since my rm is DIRECTLY...er...forget it.

hmm..shd i go to the lib? thn go hm late. so she can play for all she wan. thn i go hm late. yep. just tell my mum i'm gg out. in fact, todae supposedly go out but postponed to mon. hmm...

yea. that is until my mum wakes up lah! everyone's sleeping...*sigh*

or maybe i go get ready and just wakes my mum up. hmm...let's c...

Thank You

mind my language for this post.

I'M REALLY PISSED!!! I'M REALLY PISSED!!! FUCK LAH!

I'M REALLY ANGRY!!! FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!

SHIT!!! CRAP!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THESE PEOPLE, DON'T BE KPO! NO NEED BE SO GOOD. PLEASE. I BEG YOU. AND USE YOUR BRAIN BEFORE YOU START TO BLAME PEOPLE.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPEN:



















































I GOT OFF THE TRAIN AT JURONG EAST. 3 MINUTES LATER, THE MARINA BAY TRAIN CAME. I DID NOT BOARD IT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID BEING PUSHED BY ALL THE PEOPLE. SO I WAITED LIKE 1-2 MINUTES. THEN I STOOD UP AND WALKED BOARDED THE TRAIN THROUGH ONE OF THE OPENED DOOR. BY THE DOOR, THERE WERE 2 PEOPLE. A GIR ON MY LEFT, AND A GUY ON MY RIGHT. SO I JUST STOOD BETWEEN THEM.

OK. AT THIS POINT, I ADMIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE STOOD THERE BECAUSE I WAS REALLY BLOCKING THE WAY. BUT THEN AGAIN, I JUST WENT IN. AND BOTH SIDES OF THE CABIN WAS FILLED WITH A FEW PEOPLE WHO STOOD NEAR TO THE DOOR. SO I WAS LIKE...WHICH WAY TO GO. I WAS TAKING MY TIME BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE RUSHING IN ANYMORE. IN FACT THERE WAS NO ONE BOARDING THE TRAIN SINCE ALL THESE KIASU PEOPLE HAVE BOARDED THE TRAIN ONCE THE DOORS OPENED.

BUT BEFORE I COULD MAKE UP MY MIND, THIS FUCKING AUNTIE...BLEURGH...JUST STARTED SHOUTING AND TELLING THE THREE OF US NEAR THE DOOR THAT WE WERE OBSTRUCTING THE WAY AND WHATEVER SHIT. OF COURSE EVERYONE LOOKED! BUT I JUST IGNORED HER. BUT THEN AGAIN I WAS TELLING MYSELF MAYBE SHE IS RIGHT. SO I MOVED TO MY RIGHT SIDE.

THN JUST A FEW SECONDS AFTER I MOVED, BOTH THE DOORS CLOSED SINCE THE TRAIN WAS GOING TO GO OFF. AND I MOVED BACK TO MY ORIGINAL SPOT SINCE I NEED SOMETHING FOR SUPPORT. I WENT TO THAT SPOT BECAUSE I CAN LEAN ON THE DOOR. WELL, THE THING IS THAT DOOR WASN'T GOING TO OPEN TILL BRADDELL, A STATION THAT IS ABOUT 40 MINUTES AWAY.

AND IF IT ENDED THERE, I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN RAMBLING HERE. BUT THAT IDIOT, K-PO, BITCHY, IRRITATING, ANNOYING, FUCKING SHIT OF AN AUNTIE HAD TO SPOIL IT ALL!!!

FUCK. SERIOUSLY.

SHE STARTED BLAMING US AGAIN AND TOOK PICTURES OF US. LIKE WHAT THE HELL?! SHE INTENDED TO SEND IT TO SOMEWHERE AND USED THAT AS A PROOF OF HER STUPID COMPLAINT.

I HAD WANTED TO SPEAK UP BUT CAN'T BE BOTHERED. SO I JUST LOOKED DOWN, LOOKED BEHIND ME AT THE OUTSIDE VIEW, MADE A BORING FACE...

THE TRAIN REACHED BUKIT BATOK. THE 2 PEOPLE QUICKLY HURRIED OUT. I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS NO BIG DEAL AND THAT I HAD WANTED TO JUST STAY THERE BUT THEN I COULDN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF HER. AND I KNEW THAT SHE WAS SO GOING TO OPEN HER BIG FAT MOUTH AGAIN. SO I WENT OUT TOO.

AND I SKIPPED 5 TRAINS ALTOGETHER. SUDDENLY HAD THE PHOBIA.



















































































SO PISSED OF!!! REALLY. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? YOU KNOW WHY SOME AUNTIES ARE BEING BULLIED? BECAUSE THEY LOVE TO POKE THEIR NOSES AROUND.

I STOOD AT THE DOOR THAT WAS NOT GOING TO OPEN EVEN AFTER I BOARDED OFF. I AM NOT OBSTRUCTING ANYONE. EVEN IF I DID, I AM DOING HARM TO MYSELF. MAYBE WHEN I LEAN, THE DOOR WAS NOT TIGHT ENOUGH AND IT JUST OPENED AND I WILL FALL OFF. BUT THAT'S MY LIFE. I WON'T BLAME ANYONE. IT'S MY FAULT.

WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? I WAS NOT OBSTRUCTING ANYONE AND THAT'S FINAL!!!

FED UP. REALLY.

OK. MAYBE YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE WILL FIND THAT IT IS MY FAULT. OK. I ADMIT THAT STANDING RIGHT IN FONT OF THE OPENED DOOR WAS MY FAULT. BUT THAT WAS IT. THAT IS JUST IT. AFTER THAT, I'M NOT AT FAULT.

CRAP.

WELL, DURING ECONS TUTORIAL, MY LEFT EYE TWITCHED SUDDENLY. YES. IT IS A SIGN. BUT I IGNORED IT BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENED BEFORE THIS WHENEVER MY EYES TWITCHED.

I AM REALLY PISSED OFF!!!

I REALLY AM! JUST DON'T THAT STUPID FUCKING AUNTIE APPEAR IN FRONT OF ME AGAIN.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT...SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE WHELAN. SOUNDS JUST LIKE HER.

NOW THAT IS SCARY.

I KNOW SHE DON'T LIKE ME BECAUSE I KEPT GETTING BAD RESULTS. BUT FUCK HER.

SERIOUSLY. I AM REALLY MAD AT THIS.

AND I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE. SHE IS SUPPOSED TO FOR TAKING PICTURES OF ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. NUISANCE.

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WONDER IF SHE DO NOTICE THOSE AUNTIES WHO LOVES PUSHING PEOPLE AND RUSHING INTO THE TRAINS. I WONDER IF SHE IS ONE OF THEM. IF SHE IS, MAY SHE BE STRIKE BY LIGHTNING AND...WHATEVER. I DON CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER.

Thank You

ok. econs report i'm done wif MY PART. yea. so-called. but it's nt entirely done. the report itself. cuz i noe still got LOTZ to do. so i'm sticking arnd so that i can help them if they hv any probs.

meantime, watching Get Backers. so can like leave this comp on for at least 30mins. but maybe logging off arnd 12.30am or so. my head hurts. suddenly reached hm just now, after bathing...my head and stomach hurts like hell. felt like vomitting. i tink i've said this b4. haiz..

am i sick or what? but no fever leh. no flu. did i nt eat correctly? but i did take my lunch and dinner. breakfast? for the past 18 years of my life..i nv take breakfast. =)

ok. nothing to blog abt.

shd i pon bs2 tml? since it's lecture...but thn...haiz. nvm. c first.

so anyway...

hmm...can't wait for tml 5pm! haha!

and the kumon i didn't get the job. so i'm asking for hush puppy. but Grace replied saying that at the moment, no job. haiz.

i seriously need MONEY.

MONEY...

start liao. the beginning song cute le. haha!!!

anyway...

nvm. nvm.

forgot wad i wanted to talk abt. haha! long-winded...

my head hurts again. sheesh!!!

Thank You

yoyo. haha! after this doing ct tut. haiz...

actually i logged in to do econs report. but thn..i don't hv my qn paper and didn't noe what to do. so i guess...tml asked frm Ira.

just now took pics of spc. the petrol station. but thn the weaher was fooling arnd. *lol*

at kranji it was raining. so i tot i wld just go hm. thn whn reach woodlands, stopped. so i queued up for the 903 bus, thinking i shd go instead. thn it rained. and i was like WTH! thn 2mins after reaching the bustop, it stopped. thn i was walking towards the station and it drizzled lightly. but what i care! just took pic. but thn i cldn't get near like what Ira had done the last time whn taking pics of shell.

so sry guys! the pics were reallie horrible!!!

and i went hm. didn't want to waste my ez-link money on bus back hm. so i took the train and walked hm frm admiralty. and i was wearing this light-coloured pants. and it was full of sand and water. omg!!! disgusting. but nvm.

thn bought fishball and nuggets. and i was eating on the way hm. and it drizzled AGAIN. walked slowly under the blocks. and it stopped again. and i just walked hm.

haiz...

and tml i tink it's gonna rain AGAIN! cuz tml got the rain-god. haha!

Ira shd noe.

anyway...thn reached hm. read 3/4 chap of my novel. and slept. i was DAMN sleepy lah!!! slept in class for 2 staright days. but it was just 10 mins each. cuz i can't really sleep anywhere cept for my own bed.

and Xinyi just msged me over msn abt the econs report. and we r left wif many qns! haiz..i tink better do what i can tonight.

*sigh* tot can slack since it's the last few days of sch. but thn...this stupid report. *sigh*

so doing econs after this. thn whn finish i do ct tut.

thn can sleep again. still sleepy. *sigh*

but b4 that...my DREAM PHONE OF THE MOMENT. =)

nice right? don noe which colour to get. the white? the black?

i find the black nice also. but maybe wite is better...i don noe. but thn again...it's nt like i'm getting it NOW. in the mth of march or april. earliest march i guess. gonna get my parents to buy for me. haha!!! yea right...

so whatever it is. i'm praying for this phone to be in my grasp. it had better!!! can't stand abt dreaming to get new hp but nv in the end. grr...

and i'm thirsty. don noe y. tml buy bubble tea? haha...whatever lah!

bye bye.

Thank You

i don noe whether i'm being paranoid or what. but i really have this BAD FEELING that im NOT.

*sigh*

my stomach hurts, though i ate like normal. i didn't skip any. it's back again.

*sigh*

did my mbw 3/4. left bars for the columns and the slab. nvm. tml can do during tut.

*sigh*

bs2 retest was horrible!!! my confidence was damn low, as compared to the last time. what i studied didn't come out.

*sigh*

i passed my mbw retest! =)

*sigh*

and i'm sure that MOST, if nt ALL, wld find me very bitchy. i noe. i refelect back on my past actions and attitude since pri sch...and yep. i find myself bitchy and hateful. i understand how ppl will feel. but thn again..it takes 2 hands to clap rite?

*sigh*

and i'm starting to find a family member irritating. just reflects back on who i am. how i will react in certain ways. that's how i get one of that stupid attitude. yep.

*sigh*

crap lah! my tummy really hurts lah!!!

doing the econs report. i'm to type all the earlier findings into formal format. and i had better finish it by tonight.

all right. my tummy really hurts like hell. feel like vomitting. i don noe. it happens. i can't stand it. it's back again.

*SIGH*

Thank You

i'm so bad! shd be doing my mbw, structures and studying my bs2 for retest tml. yep. i'm so bad. don noe how i'm gonna handle it all. but i'm so gonna. b4 9.30 pm ltr. cuz i'm gonna watch the last epi of hikmah. =)

nice show. just too bad i only started watching on the 3rd last epi. *lol* well, at least saved me frm all the dramas. =) and Ira told me, thr's 3 seasons alrdy and now in sg it's only the 1st. *lol*

anyway...things to be done by this wk. if nt, i'm dead!!!

BY TOMORROW 12/12/06:

-mbw tut 8.
-structure tut 7a.
-study bs2 for the 2nd final time. but i guess for the final time. cuz tml the only free-time is during break, 12pm.

BY THURSDAY 14/12/06:

-ct tut 2-4. shit! haven tell Yanling and Xinyi which qns to do.
-also...by this night, i nd to finish the econs report. cuz tml is the submission. maybe just some touch-up during the 3-hr break. but what the hell. i don wan to rush again! Xinyi just said that the esso hotline is nt in use. omg! shell, and now esso. how to get the stupid info by thurs, the latest?!!! crap lah. stupid econs. had to give such demanding task over 2 wks. isn't it crap? *sigh*

that's all i guess. crap. the by tml assignments, cld hv done it during the wkends. crap. lazy idiot. *sigh* i reallie don noe what's gonna become of me...

and just to cheer me up...hopefully i can get the Nokia 7390. yep. the new flip 3g phone. =) m1 selling it at 600-700++ without plan. wif plan it's 300+, close to 400. singtel? nt sure...maybe getting it next yr arnd march. so by thn i tink my line can upgrade le. i tink so. and the rice shd be abt 500??? haiz...

and i'm broke now. left wif only 40+ to last me till next mth. cuz hols liao, no more allowance. i'm finding work. the tuition thingy reccommended by Liy...i called the person just now...told me to leave msg. voicemail. and until now haven call. maybe calling ltr or tml. c.

HAPPY 18TH BDAE TO WIDAD!!! WOOHOO!!! and she wanna watch cinderella...scary movie. haha!!! and she's gonna treat me to a 3KG CHOCO ICE-CREAM CAKE. ;)

and i noe Liy and Setay's bdae r coming too...=)

i nd to get my by-tml stuffs done NOW!!!

Thank You

i seriously hv no mood. 'don noe why. cuz of...*sigh* nvm. just forget it.

i'm reallie...getting pissed almost everyday. *sigh* life..that's life for u. sometimes, it's gd. sometimes it's bad. but what the heck.

tml lecture the WHOLE day. frm 8am-4pm. *sigh* nt gonna bring bag i guess. just bring the notes can alrdy. thn i wear my most baggy jeans so that can squeeze my ipod in. and yep. just now my cousin bought for me an ipod skin. haha! orange...been wanting to get it. but too lazy and very ma fan just to go yahoo or any auctions. cost me $7. hmm...

and i nd to work. cuz i'm reallie in nd of money now. during the 3 wks hols..finding work. in fact, Liy had offered me a job at kumon. she asked me long time. but thn...it's only on fri that she said that centre seriously looking for ppl. so yep. tml calling the lady. =) i wan money!

care to donate anyone? hehe...

tml Ira nt coming. she going chalet. cool! my fam's is 23rd. i'm gonna stuff myself wif food. though now i'm seriously full. i get FULL easily these weeks. don noe y. but i just stuff myself. haha!

and i wan my rm to be this darker purple and this nice darker pink. heheh...thn i want it in vertical stripes. *lol*

ok. nothing.

*sigh*

tml is 8am lecture. can wake up anot. i also don noe.

and bs2 retest!!! 5.30-7pm!!! GOD!!!

ok..nvm. i can just go hm late. i don care. but i don tink...

hm...Sing Yee. I think don wan stay until 9pm le. after the pape i just go hm. sry yar.

Thank You

yep. my impatience on the commuters and ppl who kept rushing here and thr is coming back. just now...i kept frowning. first st je. this boy..i was walking out frm the train to the middle platform. and i was walking straight. and he was like running and cutting my path. like wth!

i reallie hate all these ppl who rush. if wan to rush, just keep to urself. no nd bother ppl.

thn this auntie also! shit!!!

just shit!!!

i tell ya. i'm reallie gonna bloe up if this really goes on.

fed up alrdy.

and...

and...

and...

nvm. i'm just pissed lah. i don't want to grow older. i kept getting pissed off easily. over the slightest thing. very shitty u noe.

and i don noe whether to envy or loathe. but i do noe..i used to envy. but now...getting all pissed lah. *sigh* i reallie nd a break.

seriously. maybe the 3 weeks hols shd just keep myself away frm all living things. *lol* yea...

haiz. haven do bmt and ct tuts. doing it after midnight.

that's it. i tink i nd a break frm this comp. watch get backers! mido ban...evil eyes...woo...

Thank You

i noe long time nv blog but what the hell.

so yest was HORRIBLE. don wan to repeat it. just that i can make up for it this coming tues. omg. i've been doing so HORRIBLY in yr 2. crap!

just now had mbw retest. it was kinda ok. but i tink i got wrong here and thr. and besides, i scared my mean girth. *sigh* Ruby got different frm me. haiz...die lah like that.

so blah3x.

now waiting for Yanling to reply regarding the ct report. i still hv bmt and ct tuts to do. haiz.

and econs proj also. sheesh! don noe le. yest we went to shell station to interview and get some info. skali the person said we must call the customer service to so-called book appointment. ???

wasted trip. lucky Yanling, Kaitai and me lived just 2 stations away. Ira had wanted to follow but Kaitai stopped her. HENG LOR!!! she lived like...the most west station. *lol*

the guy also gave us the number but Yanling told me it was error. sheesh!!!

haiz.

my feet itchy! haiz...

ok. that's it lah. don noe wad to write also. so sianz. yep. my life so sianz.

Thank You