Ruzaina
21 and FOREVER 18
Working + Slacking

You build me up
Crime Novels (eg. Micheal Connelly, Paul Johnston, J.D. Robb)
Shopping & Never Drops
HUGE Stuffed Toys
N5800
Asus K401N
Listening Ghost Stories
Watching Scary/Gory Shows While Closing Eyes
Black/Hot Pink/Purple/Brown
Mocha

You break me down
Princesses
Self-Centered
Sore Losers
Lies
Ignored
Interrupted
Scolded
Pests
Ya-ya PapayaS
K-POsss!

Ain't got no money in ma pocket
Coach Wristlet
THAT C & K Wallet
Blue Label Burberry Black with Pink Stripes Hobo
Ipod Nano (Pink/Green/Blue/Orange)
Micheal Connelly's Harry Bosch Whole Collection
Unlimited Money




Xinyi
Flora
Khalisah
Sarah
Nadia
Adillah
Widad
Helen
Hafiz
Dharina
Shuling
Suharti
Iswan
Joelyn
Farhana
Karim
Hazmi
Izzat
Yanling
Fariz
Saidah
Kak Yati
Filzah
Frana


•August 2005
•September 2005
•October 2005
•November 2005
•December 2005
•January 2006
•February 2006
•March 2006
•April 2006
•May 2006
•June 2006
•July 2006
•August 2006
•September 2006
•October 2006
•November 2006
•December 2006
•January 2007
•February 2007
•March 2007
•April 2007
•May 2007
•June 2007
•July 2007
•August 2007
•September 2007
•October 2007
•November 2007
•December 2007
•January 2008
•February 2008
•March 2008
•April 2008
•May 2008
•June 2008
•July 2008
•August 2008
•September 2008
•October 2008
•November 2008
•December 2008
•January 2009
•February 2009
•March 2009
•April 2009
•May 2009
•June 2009
•July 2009
•August 2009
•September 2009
•October 2009
•November 2009
•December 2009
•January 2010
•February 2010
•March 2010
•April 2010
•May 2010
•June 2010

seriously, i really hate those spoilt brats! they're rich..well-to-do. being spoon fed since young and till NOW. thn they act all cute and ignorant. expecting ppl to be at their beck and call. seriously! don't they feel ashamed?

thn when they talk, it's as though, they're so experienced in it but still faces problems afterwards. like wth?

i seriously don like their...attitude. i'm so sway i tell u!

for now, i've known two ppl to be exact who r like tat. yep. at times, they're fun to talk to. but whn it comes to certain things and issues, tats it!

so self-centered! so bratty! omg!

i feel like kicking their asses! so sickening! like everything is their own way. all must follow them.

haiz...reallie man. i've met so many kinds of ppl.

at first, so nice and all. tot i cld really make friends.

well, yea. i can still be friends wif them but whn those bratty side comes abt, tats it! feel like smacking the faces. omg!

seriously, omg!

haiz...don't worry.

i'm tired.

ok. anyway, yay! finally! the weekends are here and i'm not working.

just now, went out wif my fam. my mum told me to buy heels. and i bought that flip-flop. no...er...i don noe wad it's called.

haha! but they will go plak plak plak cuz at the back, there's no support. er...

nvm.

cant wait for $ to come to me. my mum said gonna get my monthly allowance. but until todae don hv. maybe mon. or tml. or sun. yep! haha!

my hp bills...4 mths nv pay. or is it 3? anyway, hv reached 100+! even received the red letter. and a sms. haha! but wad i care? cuz my parents gonna pay for it. yep.

yep! and gonna get a new hp SOON!

=)

Thank You

ppl tok abt me and i tok abt ppl. fair enough? i tink it is. i'm tired of being bullied arnd. serious. don judge me cuz i tend to be quiet. if u treat me the wrong way, tats it. u've nt known me long enough.

anything don like, tell me. if can i change. if nt, thn bye bye. don friend me. ignore me. wadever shit.

haiz...

ppl think i don noe wad they r talking abt, but i know. don't tink i'm a fool.

if u think i'm a fool thn í'm saying this to u:

YOU ARE THE FOOL!

Thank You

*lol! like wad my title said...budget has gone. haha! but thn i just nd to wait till end of mth. er...nvm.

so yest went out wif Widad and Lisha to this fashion. i tried MANY clothes but bought 3. this nice er...dress top. leggings and this formal top. yep. gonna buy more at the end of the mth. hope so if wad my parents said r true lah! but hope so...85% yes. haha!

anyway, thn went to cwp metro and i bought this purple...er...kinda kintted top. yep. was torn btw purple and white. haha! gonna buy more next time.

thn ate delifrance. i was so hungry. hand't had dinner so i ate lasagne. Widad ate salad...(yea yea) and calamari while Lisha ate wedges. and i had to help her finish them. Widad nd to go hm earlier as her parents were waiting for her by the roadside. near bk. so left me and Lisha. thn the girl came wif tat bill thingy. but since we hadn't finish the wedges so just leave it. thn 5 mins ltr, she came and asked..."you nd to pay now." haha! so i told her i was paying by nets. and she said..."sorry, we don't accept nets. only cash or credit cards."

i was SHOCKED! a restaurant and they don't accept nets? ok...i ate at delifrance b4 but i used cash. tat time was my first time and it was wif Ira. this is my 2nd time. so i quickly rushed to the atm machine. the one near the mrt. omg! all the 4 ppl in frnt of me took like 5 mins each! so slow!!! kept pressing the buttons.

and thr was one TALL guy behind me. haha! cute? i don noe...but he was TALL lah. those kinda mature guy. ok wadever. don tink he's TAT cute.

back to the topic...

so quickly rushed back and thr Lisha was waiting. thn i realised tat they were actually gonna close shop. it was almost 10pm alrdy. maybe tats y they wa us to pay faster. and maybe tats y they can't accept nets. or issit delifrance don't accept nets at all? hmm...lesson learnt. don't ever use nets whn eating in delifrance. haha!

ok...kinda distracting cuz my dad watching final destination 2. i wanna watch too! but thn...haiz.

i tell u. so gonna buy ALL the vcds of shows tat i've missed or didn't watch but want to watch. i don care how backdated they are. hrmph.

so blah3x. took 912 hm wif Lisha and she was telling me abt her life in sch as a relief teacher. boy! how fierce she sounded. *lol*

i just hope she won't get BELASAH outside. haha...these days, kids r capable of ANYTHING. trust me.

ok. so...hmm...

i had wanted to buy this cheap pumps just now at john little. $19.90. saw them yest. simple pumps. cuz the pumps i bought was...er...haiz. i sux at buying shoes. serious!

but thn..if i buy them, i'm left wif a pathetic $20+ bucks. or $30...or $40 at most. and my pay and allowance frm my parents...gonna get them earliest end of this mth or next mth. so don wanna be broke for long. so nvm.

haha! so now downloading the maple game again! yest was..don noe how much..i tink more thn 50% le but cuz my parents wanted to sleep alrdy so just told them to shut everything. so now re-downloading again. damn slow lah! frm 10.20pm, 8% only.

gonna audition after this. haha! maple substitute.

ok. bye bye. tml working @ hush puppies starting fmr 3pm. actually i don wan. tired lah. but thn just now Agnes was like..."son go out lah. no ppl leh. only at boutique." blah3x. so i gave in. besides, can get extra $ mah! haha...money-minded. yea. u can't really live without money. trust me.

so..hm...the $100 for the first 3 days i worked, is being reserved for my hp. haven get the $. but since my parents said gonna get it earliest end of the mth, so nvm. so for the pay for todae and tml...haha! abt $60. can buy pumps maybe. or make up for my out of budget. *lol* we'll see ltr lah. gonna make a new plan. yep. once i get the money. =)

money money come to me. =)

Thank You

haha! my leg aching..the...er.. front sole. aiyah! wadever lah. cuz my legs r wide mah. tats y! just now wore the new pumps to work. haha! suddenly so damn LOOSE! so bought those heels-don-noe-wad frm bata. at first ok. but loose again so bought 3 more. standby for my heels at hm. gonna wear them tml.

wonder how i'm gonna walk? will i hv probs? *lol* hope not!

u noe..all along, my left foot has always been bigger thn my right. thn suddenly now my left leg became smaller thn the right. OMG!!!

haiz...don noe wad legs i hv cept tat they r wide. yep! hard to buy shoes, esp those heels. er..those open toes. yep. haiz...

ok. tink gonna play audition awhile. my sis helped me to do license. now lvl 10 le! haha...

and u noe, my budget plan has ran abit. yep. gonna do a totally accurate one this fri. haha!

aww...tml is the last day i'm gonna c my dear JIN XIUYI on tv. haiz...so sad!

and...just now Chris said tat i''ve 3 relationships. lol! one was a puppy love. thn the last one gonna be whn i'm in my late 20s...haha!!! but it's a deep one. *lol*

don noe wad crap she was saying. well, those plam readings lah. thn yest she told me tat since thr s a line across, i'm good at business...LOL!!!

but it's all superstitions. er..correct spelling anot? aiyah!

so yea...haiz. so pathetic if it is real. gonna meet my TRUE LOVE whn i'm so old alrdy. haha!!! poor ruzaina.

Thank You

yep. too sleepy to play audition.

went to work @ hush puppy. tml also. haiz...for the sake of $$$!!! haha...

so downloaded songs frm fei lun hai. i only know 3 songs out of the many i've downloaded. haha!!! nah..not i like them so much but just wanna listen, though i heard frm ppl tat their songs r not nice.

hmm...they r just another manufactured boyband lah. but it won't hurt to just listen their songs rite?

haha!!!

so finally finished downloading the patch that was cut short yest. and the result?

CRAP! still the same. haiz...corrupt canavas wadever shit. haiz....stoopid maple.

i just lvled up the LAST TIME i played. and tat was abt 3 wks ago? haiz...yea. i noe the longest i didn't maple at all was 2 mths! but tats cuz i lose interest cuz the lvling up process was slow. yep. thn my interest got back and i lvled up till lvl 53. thn this had to happen! crap lah...

haiz...

forget it. gonna sleep now.

and i'm still feeling thirsty like yest. lucky i don't feel thirsty during sleep. as in to just wake up to drink. haiz...maybe i'm too tired. maybe used up the water in my body le. maybe i'm dehydrated. haha!!! ok crap.

go sleep lah! ltr tml tired while working.

u noe just now i kept snoozing the hp till 1140. haha!!!

wasn't late at all but cuz went to eat lunch wif my mum, thn late. Chris called me. and i was waiting for the 8 min train @ sembawang. yep. went sun plaza to eat mac and to buy stockings. i'm gonna wear them whenever i wear closed shoes. yep. hm...shd i wear heels or pumps on mon? haha...

u noe. my mum found out abt the heels alrdy. she kept quiet. but cuz i saw the bag was out of place whn i got hm, thn i asked her. she denied at first but thn started laughing and asking me whether i can walk in those heels. my dad too! haiz...

and u noe...my confidence disappearing after tat. wad if i fall? *lol*

ok. go sleep. case closed.

Thank You

u noe? my maple patch was till 69%. i had wanted to sleep but was waiting for tat patching to be done so risked my sleepy eyes to play audition! and thn right after i edited my blogskin, the plan, this stoopid thing abt flash came out. and everything just closes by itself!

DO YOU KNOW I'M FREAKING SLEEPY RIGHT NOW? IT'S MORE WORST CUZ I DIDN'T ACHIEVE IN PATCHING!!! OMG!!!

just great.

i LOVE you maple. sheesh...seriously!

and i don give a hoot right now. i'm gonna shut down the comp and SLEEP.

Thank You

yay! finally can blog! missed blogging but worst of all, missed mapling! omg!!! not fair...Setay can maple. stoopid maple!!!

anyway, got lotz to blog abt. reallie. but i don noe whr to start u c. hmm...

hmm..now toking to Widad so...haha! kinda blur. nvm.

i'll just start blogging soon. wait ah...

ok Widad's not online alrdy. so gonna blog. hm...whr shd i start?

let's c...

ok. we'll start by days. but thn i don't reallie rmrbr leh. haiz!

all right. i'll just type wad i rmrbr. =)

at work. hmm...responsibility getting HEAVY! serious. cuz this time it involves gov $!!! serious! i even stayed back till 1915 one of those days. i tink it was tue. I TINK. and guess what? i kinda stayed back for nothing cuz Mdm Lim went hm. yea..so suay! i kept gg to her desk but she's nt thr. only her bag and shoes. i'd tot she will stay back also and was gg for dinner. i kept checking every 15 mins. until 1830 like tat. thn whn i went thr again arnd 1705 or something, her bag and shoes were gone! OMG!!!

so i dragged myself to my desk and packed up and wrote a note for her. haiz...

nvm. thn went hm and talk to Ira on the hp till i reach hm.

thx Ira!!! tok again, k?

ok. i totally forgot what happened cept for the fact tat I talked wif Ira again. but was it the next day? hmm...

anyway...in the office...among us...kinda got prob too. haiz. i don noe what to sae le. don noe what really happened. just hear this and that. haha!

and Xing Gan and me r exchanging msges over the comp. yep! she as Xiuyi and me as Quan. haha! cuz she liked quan and i love xiuyi. haha!!! yar yar yar. don care. i noe most will find quan more shuai but i tell u i prefer xiuyi. it'll be nice to hv someone like tat in ur life. won't feel so stressed out. haha!

any xiuyi-alikes out thr? hehe...

anyway, got our pay. u noe i've plan what to do wif my pay rite? but tat's based on $440. and we got only $273. rmph. i seriously didn't tink abt feb. we started work on the 12/02/2007. and feb ended on 28/02/2007. so we were given pay based on those days. haiz...i didn't tink abt tat whn i was planning. it totally didn't cross my mind! but whn i checked tat day, 14/02/2007 after lunch...thn i realised! haiz...

and the rest were unhappy too! until Wei Si explained to them cuz she called her sis who works in a bank. yep. i was telling them too but they just won't listen. haiz...very hard and frustrating u noe. anyway...so it was totally solved after Sing Yee asked Mdm Lim. yep. Sing Yee the brave one!!!

i've always take my hat off for her, for that!!! brave!

;)

thn yest went hm wif Xing Gan. wanted to buy shoes. but thn i wanted to c more and felt rushy. cuz i noe Xing Gan wanted to watch hua yang shao nian shao nu. though she said it was ok. but i still felt guilty so i didn't buy cept for earrings. she bought 1 i bought 2. hehe...

thn went this fashion but all the big sizes no more le. haiz...so shd i be glad tat i'm not the only fat ppl here? haha!!!

anyway...thn we went hm. and u noe...walking hm wif Xing Gan very xing ku leh. cuz she walks VERY FAST! serious. like tat day. it was raining. she was holding the umbrella. and in the end, i was half wet cuz she walked to fast.

i noe some ppl will say i walked too slow.

but she really walked very fast lor!

hmm...

anyway...just now after lunch i bought this pumps. $29.90. yep. my first spent frm my pay. haha!!! we ate burger king. oh..me and Fieza. =)

thn went to buy pumps. yep. thn after work, i bought this heels! seriously high. if my mum noes abt it, she's gonna nag! serious. cuz i seldom wear heels. haha! thn suddenly wear so high! haha! so i hid those shoes in my rm. haha! but nothing can stop her frm finding them. serious. trust me.

it's like as though, the things will eventually show themselves to her. haiz...my mother the superfinder! haha...ok lame.

anyway...so i've spent $29.0+$28.70=$58.60. er..i tink so. nvm. i just round them up to $59. yep.

so shoes done. now left clothes. hmm...maybe shd re-do my plan. yep. i will ltr.

i'm gonna get an additional $99 at least cuz i'm working fr hush puppy. i've worked tat sun. and tml and sun gonna work again. hmm...so i'm saving the hush puppy pay for my hp. cuz i mentioned i'm gonna use $100 for my hp as tat upgrade fee mah. =)

so the $ in my bank now is solely for clothes, shoes, food and other stuffs. hmm...if i were to save $100 frm thr (tat's my upmost requirement mah!) thn i'll hv abt $148 to spent on clothes and stuffs. hmm..wad if i take out $48 for food, so my $100 won't be affected much. thn left wif $100. $100 for clothes. i'm gonna buy lotz of dress-shirts. u noe...those dress tat r in trend now. ppl r wearing them wif leggings and jeans. yep. those. this fashion got LOTZ! =)

thn jeans nt gonna spend so much. maybe just go those neighbourhood shop to buy. reallie.

hmm..the thing is when i'm gonna buy. fri maybe (90% yes!) yea. to this fashion. thn if still got time, go CK buy jeans. hmm...hmm...

thn next pay thn buy wallet and bag. i saw nice ones @ pocillini...er...wadever the name is spelt like. tat dae ent wif Fieza. at first saw this nice pink wallet. thn saw lotz of nice bags. thn skali! BOMB! saw this cute black and pink bag. haha!

Ira shd noe why!

yep. thr were two shade of pink wallets. at first the kinda beige-pink one. thn after i pointed out the bag, Fieza told me to might as well get the hot pink wallet to match my bag. hmm...we'll see. haha! who noes by next pay don hv le. haiz! hope not lah!

ok. i don noe y but my eyes getting sleepy. but nt gonna sleep. downloading this maple patch frm filefront. only 28% frm 2050! haiz...so slow!!! so gonna play audition first.

haiz. i wan maple lah!!!

i'm thirsty. suddenly. hmm...

Thank You

mind my last 2 posts. i noe i sounded like some bitch who cries over spilt milk but what the heck. this is my blog. thr's no other way for me to let out my emotions. so...hmm...thx for reading. and sry for the depressing contents. =)

anyway...i've decided to just let bygones by bygones. but b4 tat...u noe...

last 3 nights, i actually go and just anyhow calculate and take the average of my gpa after 3 full yrs of studying thr.

u noe...even if i scored 4 for my gpas for the last two sems tat i've left, i cldn't even get an average of 3. yep. tat's sad. i noe. but what's over is over.

u noe..what my supervisor said, Mdm Lim, it's better if u show progress. yep. so in yr 3, gnna work DAMN hard. enjoy still enjoy but i'm gonna work hard. serious.

i have to. i must.

yep.

anyway...i'm left with 5 wks of hols so maybe just put my mind elsewhr first.

i'm gonna think abt my new hp. i'm so positive tat i'm gonna get it by end of the mth but thn my mum was kinda having 2nd thoughts. crap. i mean...she was like...er...she is sure as hell gonna get it for me. but maybe at a ltr date. *sigh*

maybe god is giving me back what i deserved. cuz i kept promising my mum tat i'll do better for exams and all but i didn't keep them. so now it's my turn.

tat is why..don't ever promise to anyone unless ur DAMN sure. *sigh*

anyway...now gonna post 4 pics of the handphone.

OMG!!! i JUST saw my results!!! It's really horrible that I could just died just now.

What held me back? Cuz I was promoted to yr3. I'm in 3a/06. but thn again...

OMG!!! i really don't know what to say of myself. It's horrible lah!!!

i don noe how to face others! ppl arnd me all get so gd grades. all get >2 for gpa!!! omg!!! and me?

and me?

i'm nothing!!! omg!!! is this course really not for me? or am i just being lazy and stupid? omg!

i can't sae anything else other thn OMG!!!

i reallie don noe how to face others. seriously. surely ppl will ask, "ruzaina. what did you get for your gpa?" or "ruzaina how's ur result?" omg!!! seriously! i don noe how to answer.

so ppl. spare me can? don ask me. nvm if u nv read this, and u ask me. i will just sae "it's horrible." but don't kept asking me and asking me again just cuz i didn't really answer what you want. just cuz i didn't give u a DIRECT answer, please i beg u...please. for those who read this...i got HORRIBLE results. serious.

this is really horrible!!! omg!!! i kept telling myself to study hard but see what happens? i noe..for some of u, or maybe all of u out thr will tink tat i'm such an idiot. it's my fault. u shouldn't cry over spilt milk. i asked for this. i noe. i noe.

*sigh*

the result slip will be sent out on 13th. so 13th onwards gonna check my mailbox. serious. i don wan my parents to c.

*sigh* my mum is damn sick alrdy. stupid doctors! yea..gd lah. now blame doctors. haiz...

anyway...yea. and i really hope they won't ask. serious. i don wan ANYONE to ask me abt my results. u can ask me anything else and i'll be glad to answer. BUT NOT MY RESULTS.

please! i beg u. don ask me abt it. don even remind me of it. please!!!

ruzaina, you're better off dead and don't waste ur parents money! it cost at least $5000 for my life in poly.

Thank You

u noe..maybe it's gd that i just die. thn no one will blame me for anything. really fed up. i just went to work @ cwp just now. and now my mum is in pain. her back hurts like hell.

doc said she shou'ldn't do any work esp bending. i asked my dad wad she did just now.

and he BLUNTLY HARSHLY SNAPPED "cooking lah!"

like fuck.

he's saying tat it's my fault. well hello?! he can't cook meh? my mum just sit down and tell him wad to do. and tat idiot bitch...cannot help meh?

why everything push to me?! why?! just because i'm the eldest?

fuck the eldest! i hate being the eldest! i just want to go away now. i really wan to disappear.

why? why me?

totally fed up!!! i onyl left the hse for one day and all blaming me. FUCK EVERYONE!!!

ltr my aunties noe..and they will start blaming me. fine! i'll just die and be gone frm this world.

u noe..ppl sae death is nt the solution to anything. well i tell u...

it is in my case. i just nd to die. no one else nd to take my place.

it's me alone. i'm the only one who is suppose to die. seriously.

i'm really...sad.

i don't noe what to think.

i don't noe wad to do.

i just noe..i'm a burden to everyone.

that is what i am.

a burden.

an extra.

a useless idiot.

i'm nothing.

no one needs me.

Thank You

listening songs frm my ipod thru the comp. and uploading songs in the comp to my email. haha! don wan take up space. i'm trying my best to clear all my things in my comp cuz my cousin gonna repair the comp. i can cept for the dramas tat i've downloaded. for that, my dad gonna buy new burner first. yep yep.

haiz...not gonna tok abt work.

ok i guess. haiz...it's easier thn the rest but thn again...nvm. =)

yest was the day that ppl, who took 'a' lvls last yr, got their results.

grats to those who got gd results! grats!!!

as for those who didn't get gd results or didn't get the results tat you've always wanted, don't despair. it's over. now look to the future. it's NOT the end. so don't worry! just be happy and carry on. =)

ok i sux at consoling ppl but wth.

anyway...haiz.

getting my pay soon. Fieza and Sing Yee alrdy said want to shop arnd novena 2...er...wadever the name is. haha!!! anyway, thr got quite lots of shops so yea.

thn going out with Liy. haha! she's been asking me out since like...so long! poor her kept rejecting her.

nvm girl. we will go out soon!!! =)

ok. tats all for now. i still wan maple leh.

Thank You