Sunday, September 21, 2008 • 9:33:00 PM

tml is a brand new wk...

todae marks the 21 dys of fasting...so fast CAN!

my ipod? ju8st added new songs. reallie can't be bothered to re-arrange and all.

tell u, of ALL the 468 songs in my ipod, i only listen to 3...39?

HAHA!!!

okies. nth much to blog abt. cept tat i was a MADAM again just nwo. woke up like...woke up abt just in time to follow my family to chong pang to collect my sis' baju raye.

kk my posts during work.

***

Monday, September 15, 2008

Tink just now…haha! I think I am very scary leh. Like heck ppl.

Ok. Anyway, just now boarded the bus. Tapped my ez-link. Thn whn wan tap at the exit, error. Ok fine. Go the last door, error again. it said that I didn’t tap at the entrance.

So I…STILL can go to my fave seat. Right at the back before the 5-seater and sit down. Took my own sweet time to find my normal ez-link. And the uncle nv move lor. Was actually thinking tat maybe he’s waiting for me.

BUT I HECK!

And he moved, and I moved too…to the front.

Actually I can just tap my ntuc ez-link card again. But nah!

Thn sat at my used-to-be fave seat-the last seat of the first cabin.

And and…

I realized that maybe all this while…ok at least like thrice or something…I didn’t notice lor. =)

Ok. So I’m feeling neutral NOW. Why? Monday blues….don’t know want happy or frustrated or what.

Ok. Admit that actually if not I’ll feel abit…blues. But maybe…

OK ENOUGH.

Anyway, the babes wan go shopping this wk. And most prob Friday.

Yar it’s Friday.

Hmmm…c how lah.

Kk…8.57am alrdy. Better start work. Ok I’m gg to clear all the approving cases FIRST!!!

***

U noe, my heart thumping like mad when I think of it.

And Charmaine has the results for the pty tax exam tat we had in may. How…thumping u noe. I’m like…no way! Out of the 4 of us, thr’s one distinction, to which I don’t think it’d me. Actually I noe tat I just wan to stick my butt here. So a pass is good enough. But Belinda and Rahmah like concern over the type of passes. So kinda pressurized here.

Skali I’m the lowest lor. Then very paiseyy!!!

So pls, help me pass with flying colours!!!

Ok this sux. I actually tot tat I’m neutral and ok and no Monday blues. Skali no lor!!!

I’ve yawned for every 5 seconds just now for like half an hr…yes gua zhang but it’s true.

And now my eyes so heavy lah can!

Still clearing the approving work items though…

52mins to slack.

***

Actually slept during lunch. Now ok lah . Though head still spinning abit. Ok got back the pty tax results. And…YES I PASSED.

Alhamdulilah.

But…

It’s a JUST PASS. So I am very sad right now.

And this reallie got me thinking. Am I still fit to study? Am I qualified or will I be wasting money?

Should I? Should I go and study?

This itself shows that I’m not enthu abt studying.

Should I? I am so confused. I don’t know. But I really do want to try out mass comm….maybe my passion is there since I want to be there since like EONS ago…but somehow got into this property sector.

What the hell lah can!

I am so confused. If I hv that 2nd chance to study FULL-TIME…

How?

Hv actually asked that instituition. And until NOW no reply. Crap!
I am very sad. So how? Is this what I really want? An office job. 8-5.30?

Is this what you really want?

You noe I’ve realized this too late. I’m asking a stupid qn tat came too late. Why now?

Why not right after my o’s?

Crap lah.

Can I turn back time and change the NOW me? Can I?

Gosh!

Can I even forgive myself?

God-ruzaina! It’s the fasting month. So wake up!

But seriously, this result has set me thinking.

What am I gonna do now?

What are you gg to do ruzaina?

Just continue living in the fuck-ed up world where you are just QUIET AND DON’T TALK?

Is this what you want?

Wake up lah-idiot!

It’s time to show u exist!

Ok getting emotional now. Can’t believe just a small result will actually cause me to be like this.

I am sad. I am very sad.

Need I say more?

I AM VERY VERY VERY SAD WITH MYSELF.

***

I’ve emailed again regarding the journalism course.

I really want to find the life that I want to lead. Like I’ve told myself and maybe mentioned it here. As NUS part-time real estate course needs at least 2 yrs working experience, so I’m giving myself this 2 yrs to try out journalism.

And the course itself is 16mths….which is like 1 yr and 4 mths. If I realized that journalism’s I want, then I’ll just finish up my 3-yrs TG scheme here and get out. And cont with my journalism.

If not, then I’ll cont with real estate. Let’s just say that I shouldn’t waste my 3 yrs worth of education. And 3 yrs worthy my parents money. =)

Vacuum..i hate vacuum. I hate the sound. Someone shd invent a soundless vacuum lah can!!!

Dread hearing the vacuum sound.

And and…can u guys PLEASE stop it? Haha! Very irritating you noe.

Wonder what’s for dinner…my mum said now till hari raya, she just cook CAPALANG!

Anyhow cook cuz if cook nice nice thn hari raya jelak alrdy.

Now whr and whn can I get the pink bag?

Hmm…

Oh can I add something?

OF COURSE! THIS MA BLOG! U dun like SHOO!!!

I am…happy. Haha! Sort of. I mean it’s 4.36pm.

But not so happy. Cuz of the result. But not so emotional like earlier.

4.37pm.

Yang warriors hv ended showing. The ending is too abrupt. Like everything just falls and being dumped together to make it an ending.

I mean it’s WAR. I believe talking, advising don’t exist in wars. -__-“

But wth! It’s a drama. It’s a fiction. Yes it’s based on real history but then…

NEVER MIND. It’s just sad in the end. Yes, good triumphs evil but still sad. 5 lives were sacrificed.

4.39pm.

So what show should I watch out for next? I wan watch that fated to love you…er…so-called part 2. But thn…nvm!

4.40pm.

I’m gg to waste time till 5pm.

4.41pm.

Okies. This new song don’t know who sang it. Sounds like Metallica. My dad said the same yest. And just now whn the vacuum strikes, this malay song nice too.

Yes-I listen to malay songs. Why cannot issit?

Singapore is a multi-racial country…

Ok. 4.44pm.

My head is banging in thr. After I woke up just now…still banging lor…

Ooohhh...Margaretha called me regarding the a VC. The TP queried back…

I reallie get the jitters if TP calles back. Like so scared. I hate toking on the phone with TPs. Mdm Lim noticed lor…

Don’t know when she’ll be coming back.

She came back last Friday. just to submit her MC. And her MC is not some fever 1-2 days. This is major okaes.

NVM. Who am I to qn? 4.53pm.

So fast…

This miang song. Haha! But if u listen to it, kinda cute lah. but miang lah. haha!!!

What the hell is miang?

Er…whn u flirt tat feeling u give to ppl. Haha! Don’t know lah!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

1) In life, you cannot hope for too much.

2) Plan is plan. But don’t say it out loud.

3) I am sad.

Ok. Enough. Am sleepy now…looking forward to lunch. I am so gonna sleep AGAIN.

Disappearing act again. But wth. Maybe I should start smiling you noe.

Maybe I’m too fierce. Haha!!!

Ok ruzaina. Can tell that you’re very sleepy.

Later gg to buy stuffs. Yes-stuffs.

Then maybe ta pau frm banquet frm cwp.

Unless got someone pei me lah!!!

No replies from these ppl.

Idiot phone. Msging Lemon, and it hanged.

Hurry 10 April 2009 CAN?!!!

Crap phone.

***
MY EYES WILL CLOSE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS CLOSING!!! Gosh, where’s the lunch time???

Hurry! I nd to refresh!!!

***

Damn sleepy lah can!!!

40 more mins…

Don’t know Belinda gg with Jaslyn and Maybeline and Sheryl.

Okies just came back from toilet tgt. Yep, she’s going. So I’m sleeping. So sleepy lah can!

With this temperature it’s so nice to be on the bed-SLEEP.

With blanket too of course! If not, will end up going to the toilet every 3 hours.

Ok. So later I’m going to S-L-E-E-P. Skali never wake up lor on time I mean.

If go0 far east, don’t know break-fast whr. If cwp, haha!!! Banquet lor…if I ended up alone. I’m going to ta pau either chicken cutlet or ban mian.

Ok. Kinda hungry le. Cuz just now sahur just ate biscuits and hotdog bread. But what the heck. Just carry on lor. Not like want to die.

There are others who are WORST! Weeks and weeks never eat lor..and it’s 24 hours a day. Not like us. Only what? less than 9 hours never eat each day.

So stop complaining.

But I am really very sleepy.

My bag…hari raya bag can get it later or end of the mth. If gg far east, then can get it at Ricks lor.

A pink bag. Yes. A pink.

11.40am.

Maybe later 12pm surf abit. Then go sleep at 12.30pm like that. Then wake up 1.30pm.

11.41am. Ok.

***

Slept like nobody’s business lor!!! And time passes slow…I mean I rmrbed I slept at abt 12.40pm and I woke at 1pm. And it’s only 20 minutes but I felt as though I’ve been dreaming away for like 1 hr???

Of course, cont closing my eyes but wasn’t sleeping. And only really tried forcing opening my BIG eyes at 1.30pm.

Yep, now the head abit spinning but at least I’m fresher as compared to earlier.

And FAKES, YA-YA PAPAYAS, PRINCESSES please get out of my life.

Currently these are the thorns in my life now.

Very sad I noe. Ok got the nuts I ordered le. Hmm…for Hari Raya? Like not enough leh. *lol*

C how…

Ok gonna clear all my objections. I’m left with 7.

C u agn at 3.30pm yar! Or better lah if I complete and it’s alrdy 5.15pm. =)

***
Kk…now my head starting to feel more…more intense banging…shit!

It’s not spinning but it’s like a hammer knocking my brain. Hurts lor…and feel like throwing up too…gosh!!!

Ruzaina, steady…steady…

***

Left with 2 obj. And I think save it lah…later then do. Really no mood to do.

The SMA has called me. Wanted to send me the brochure…wanted me to come down PERSONALLY. Then I told her just email me the softcopy.

Lazy and can’t be bothered and most probably can’t also.

See? Working life sux. You can’t just male an appointment with anyone during weekdays-during the day.

Kk…rec the journalism brochure le. Lucky inside got the price…hmm…altogether I will need 26K. Gosh!!!

And this is only the journalism, if I decided that I don’ want this and want to cont with pty, then another…28K like that. OMG!!!

Headache lah!!! Should have be a good girl with Whelan lor…then maybe can get into my first choice in poly. Stupid maths. Stupid Science.

Grrr…Nah! More to stupid Chemistry..my horrible-LEST!

***

Why can’t life be fair? Why can’t there be the same rule where everyone just follows? Why must there be some odd one out?

Headache!

Can I get a rich, smart, handsome guy for a spouse? YOUNG PLEASE-a few years older than me only. More than 5 go away.

And good and faithful and…argh!

Reliable…*lol*

Rich, so my life ahead will be so SMOOTH!

But don’t hope for too much. Cannot. It’s wrong. It always backfires. Crap I noe.

4.15pm. Suchi is back. But Belinda’s gone. For the meeting. Year-end party. Haha!!!

***

Finished! E-Rental got A LOT lor but don’t do. So no NEW work. And I won’t say anything. I’ll just keep quiet. Still rmrbed. My 2nd or 3 rd month, was so enthu and say I got no work. And Mdm Lim gave me 70 work items…GOSH!!!

So meeting Setay later. Don’t know eat what…

Hope got any nice guitar bags lah! I mean guitar-shaped bags…

5.03pm already!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I don’t like this…why? Do I look like some flirty girl who is looking for OLD men’s company? GOSH!!!

Fuck u all lah!!! Stop looking at me like you’ve never seen a girl before can?!

Angry sia…

Kk…breathe in breathe out.

So yest went to eat SG at Taka. And DAMN FULL! First time the soup didn’t finish. When we were full, still had like…1/4 left. At least,

No rice lor…

I realized I cannot eat as much as last time.

Anyway, ate then the grp beside us…grp of 3 Malay guys and 1 girl. Tink the gf of the bdae boy. Nvm…not I care.

So we got a cake from them.

Ok lah, nice..chocolate leh!

And we were like goons there. When they gave us, we just nodded. When they leaving, one of the guy sae…in malay lah…”Eat, don’t leave it.”

Something like tat lah…

And Setay was like “We didn’t wish the guys happy bdae also”

But he was the 1st to leave lor…haha!!!

So reached hm abt 11.30am.

And and…the disappearing act has started. Gosh!!!

Ok shut up ruzaina.

***

Later at 11am gg down to lvl 5 to see the raya bazaar. Hmm..looks nice lah.

But cannot taste lor.

And and thr’s pistacho beans. I LOVE!!! If cooked, then how to eat? By the time bring home, maybe soft soft de.

Then there’s chocolate too. WOW!!!

The funny thing is…it’s a Hari raya Bazzar, but the stalls are listed as halal-certified anot. Which is weird.

But nvm c how later.

Can I hold your hand?

Haha! Don’t know which song got this lyric. After gg down, gonna sleep again. Sleepy le!

My mum don’t know what to cook. Should I go cwp and buy back food? But like lazy leh.

Anyway, gg home alone. Belinda gg out. So take yishun train. Then like fang bian.

Haiz…c how lah. now no mood to do work. After my lunch-sleep ba…haha!!!

And I feel like vomiting now…

Is it cuz I ate too much? Or issit cuz I’m too hungry?

*lol*

***

I am seriously considering taking up this journalism degree. Should I?

Or maybe I’ll just take up a diploma. Then from there I’ll decided which path I wanna take. If it’s pty, then I’ll continue with a degree in pty. The same goes if I want journalism.

BUT!

There’s no journalism major for the diploma stage! Or shd I just heck my interest and just follow with pty?

OMG! This is so sickening…

Can some MONEY fall from the sky? Or someone just transfer money to my account? Hmm…AT LEAST S$60K, can?!

Can can?!!! Any kind souls?

Really…can time be turned back? Let me go back to YEAR 2003. And make me my age too…don’t bring me back as what I am NOW.

Make me my age at that year and then bring me back immediately after the transformation.

So it’s either re-run the past or give me money.

Ok. My head is thumping AGAIN! Crap…

Or issit cuz I tied my hair? Er…

Ok now my left eye red, itchy, pain. Crap.

Without seeing, I can tell it’s very RED.

***

Ok just woke up frm my lunch-slumber. Am very worried as to whether I snored anot.

Asked Belinda, she said no. Hope not lah.

And my head thumping le…

***

My eyes BOTH ichy le…grr!!!

Maybe later if my mum nv cook, buy BK. I got the coupon!

But will call later lah!

Ok, my eyes cannot make it lah…

My workstation dirty meh?

Kk…now clearing the approval WI-s. 3.59pm liao!!! So excited…

I can’t wait to go hm. Hmm…but cannot sleep early lor. Want watch last epi of Jeritan Sepi.

Oh! And I missed eating at SP’s fdcrt 3 nasi ayam stall.

Anyone wan go?

=)

Not bad ah…this is the 3rd day at work and I’m blogging till 4 pages.

Kk…tok again later!!!

***

Kk…my mum cook-ing. Hmm…so no BK lah. Nvm lah…maybe I alight at NTUC. Then buy magazines and bubble tea…haha!!! We’ll c we’ll c.

Kk...4.34pm.

HURRY!!!

And I wan the time to pass faster and still wan go back in time?

How contradicting…=)

*smirks*

***

Okies…gg home in 2 mins…so happy!

Kkaes…tok again tml. Hope tml is a good day.

Bye bye EVERYONE!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I WAS LATE! NAH..MORE LIKE I WAS ON TIME. ON THE DOT AT 8PM I REACHED OFFICE. Haha!!!

Why? My usual bus-6.45am-came at FREAKING 7am. Then reached the interchange…er…more like outside int at 7.18am.

Reached the platform at 7.21am.

Ok. Actually if not, I can reach like 7.50am or SOMETHING. But I waited for the 2nd empty train. *lol*

GATAL KAN?!!!

Well, the empty train gives more space lah..not tat I sit down. Actually for this whole of Ramadhan mth, I’ve nv sat.

Haha!!!

But it’s reallie the bus lor. If not, I wld hv taken MY train at 7.20am and can get the Today Paper.

Crap.

It’s a new driver. Boarded his bus yest too.

Nvm. I was not late. I was ON TIME.

Anyway, another thing. It happened yest. I bought 2 papayas. And 2 mins ltr, they dropped and I STEPPED ON ONE OF IT.

OMG!!! So sad lah can!

And I actually heard some ppl made the shocked sound. And I picked them up and threw them away lor. And then laughter.

Gosh!!!

What a day!

Tml meeting the WRSS peeps. Most prob…still no news though. And Lisha’ the one CONSOLIDATING the ppl.

So nvm. I shall wait.

And tml I am so gonna wear slippers already!

Actually tot of wearing the blue covered shoes. But then I rmrbed wearing them last week. Fri and sat. And my legs kena blisters lor.

Was wearing plaster for 2 days lor!

I tink I saw but I nv turn. But later on, like don hv.

Oh! And EVERYTIME c, it’s either the stripped purple-black or a light blue striped. HAHA!!!

Only one with a vest. *lol*

Anyway, meeting my mum at cwp later. Wan buy food for buke there. Cuz I’ve been pestering her to go cwp. I MISS THE TOM YUM BANQUET! But still torn chicken cutlet or ban mian.

We shall c.

But I prefer the chicken cutlet at BANQUET JP.

Ok nvm lah! Ruzaina! It’s only 8.32am and u r thinking of food?

HAHA!!!

But I nv eat rite? Only thought of. FOR LATER.

Should I buy slippers later?

Nah! Nvm..next mth thn buy.

I’m left with accessories and handbag for Hari Raya.

I wanna buy pink but Setay say DON’T. but grey…should I listen to you?

But my shoes red…at least pink and red like matching u noe.

***

as of last wk, I’ve 428 posts le…WOW! Hmm…I’ve blogged for like 37 months…roughly. And 428 divide by 37…tats like about 12…ok 11.5 posts a mth. Roughly AGAIN. I’ve blogged 0.38…0.4 post PER DAY. Haha!!!

Ok how bo liao can I get?

Oh! I’m looking at courses. There’s this free courses offered online. What the hell-shall check it out!

***

Wonder what its’ meaning was. Was it in a joking manner?

*sigh*

Am I? I don’t think so leh…

***

Ok…3.35pm. I want to go home. Don’t want to do work alrdy. So tired.

Still haven decided, chic cutlet or ban mian…haha!!!

Hmm, if eat in the lorry don’t think can eat ban mian hor. It’ll be very full!

Ok tink I just buy chic cutlet.

Yeah, chic cutlet. Ok, confirmed. =)

3.37pm.

who sings this song?

U leave me breathless…

Haha!!! Maybe I hv the song but I heck.

Haha…but who sings the song?

YAY! Tml is fri, and can wear slack. I am so wearing SLIPPERS!!!

Hope tml won’t be another disappearing act…haha!!!

Kk…4.10pm only. Very sleepy…feel like sleeping…

No mood lah do work…

Friday, September 19, 2008

Ok so pissed at myself can! I am so UN-GLAM todae…muke slumber…ngantok lah. Like reallie no mood. Once in a blue moon…

And and…GOSH! Rec a shock-ED lor…

No disappearing act…haha!

Was walking, thn looked down and saw the THING. And and I knew it!

HAHA!

So regret CAN!

Anyway, ltr meeting WRSS. At magic wok. But c first lah hor! Haha…

Reallie, I am in a mood-LESS mood now. Thn just now alighting the train, I tink thr’s something abt me. I hv to alight at the same door as I board.

2nd time le. Sure got some irritating things happen. The 1st was I knocked over GOD-KNOWS-HOW-MANY shoes. eh no! 3 times. 2nd was I stepped on two SHOES. and just now, I hit someone’s mp3? Hp? Don’t know…didn’t drop. I cldn’t care a hoot abt saying sorry. Just walked out. The USUAL me WILL say SORRY!

That is why I don’t like to sleep in the bus. SURE UNGLAM and MOODLESS. Sleepy mah. *sigh*

Maybe should smile while sleeping.

Haiz…but everyone sure hv that unglam and moodless times in their lives.

You know, maybe I should look up and smile at EVERYONE.

Yar, thn maybe shd just smile thn maybe…HAHA!

Ok enough lah. Todae wan do work. Serious work. Kk…

OH! Maybe should start SMILING from NOW. Thn my mood will come back.

Okok..BRING IN THE JOKES BABES!!!

Come on-forward me jokes!!!

***

Ok, I can feel that my mood is S-L-O-W-L-Y coming back…so ok lah.

Ok lah…shd be gg I guess. Lala still have not reply lor! She hor…sent 4 sms. Replied ONCE.

You noe, I am still thinking of just now. Grr…feel the regret so much!

***

Ok…maybe Monday onwards I’ll start smiling. No matter how grumpy or tired or what-not I am. =) I’ll starts smiling to everyone! Don’t care who don’t care what!

HECK AH!

Kk…fasting mth, I happily take 1.5-2 hours lunch.

Surf surf internet then sleep. But not yest.

Should I sleep now?

Kinda sleepy but don’t know leh…

Should I layer my hair? But I want to keep it long…at this current length, the auntie gonna cut short lor. *sigh*

But hari raya, new hair lah. I don’t know.

But don’t know. I am very unsure right now!

What other nice websites r thr?

I am bored.

Kk…I’ll sleep awhile…

Cookie jar is on!

***

Power 98FM. Yap did sleep but not so deep LIKE tue or wed.

Can you talk? Ok fine! I’m gonna show my smile everyday!!! To everyone…haha! Tink I’m very fierce…like yest whn I met Belinda, Maybeline and Sheryl downstairs to collect the fruits. Maybeline said why my face so black. Haha!!!

Ok people! I’m going to smile from now on!

Smile makes the world goes round! Weee!!!

And it had better make the world go round FOR ME.

If not, I’ll hv this smile-phobia…

=)

Then frm thn on, I’ll be doing =( instead of =)

kk chiong work ah…

***

Chiong my foot!!! Haha…now slacking le…though Lisha will reach Novena at abt 5.15 earliest. Haha!!!

Ok…Monday a NEW ME will be born…haha!!!

Ok can I sae something?

My tube kept dropping lor…haha!!!

Oh! If I wear the white one, that’ll be WORST! So many times..it reallie drop…haha!!!

Oh now not exactly drop lah…just tat…ok NEVER MIND!

So Monday will be a NEW me…say only.

I’m gg to smile at everyone. Okay, maybe I still choose lah. Haha!!!

9 mins more to OFFICIAL bye bye for the week. Working I mean. =)

Last note.

Can pls…er…don’t disappoint me again? Thanks. =)

Okies! Bye ppl! Stop blogging le!

***

everytime i'm on the comp, SURE feel very FAN!!! cannot breathe, i tell u. the tv so loud but like no one's watching. and arguing here and thr. toking so loud!

grrr...

Thank You