Ruzaina
21 and FOREVER 18
Working + Slacking

You build me up
Crime Novels (eg. Micheal Connelly, Paul Johnston, J.D. Robb)
Shopping & Never Drops
HUGE Stuffed Toys
N5800
Asus K401N
Listening Ghost Stories
Watching Scary/Gory Shows While Closing Eyes
Black/Hot Pink/Purple/Brown
Mocha

You break me down
Princesses
Self-Centered
Sore Losers
Lies
Ignored
Interrupted
Scolded
Pests
Ya-ya PapayaS
K-POsss!

Ain't got no money in ma pocket
Coach Wristlet
THAT C & K Wallet
Blue Label Burberry Black with Pink Stripes Hobo
Ipod Nano (Pink/Green/Blue/Orange)
Micheal Connelly's Harry Bosch Whole Collection
Unlimited Money




Xinyi
Flora
Khalisah
Sarah
Nadia
Adillah
Widad
Helen
Hafiz
Dharina
Shuling
Suharti
Iswan
Joelyn
Farhana
Karim
Hazmi
Izzat
Yanling
Fariz
Saidah
Kak Yati
Filzah
Frana


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THERE'S A BIG STUPID SHIT COCKROACH IN MY ROOM. IT'S OVERTURNED AND LOOKS DEAD.

BUT WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE?!

IT'S NOT THAT SMALL...THE BABY BUT IT'S THE MOTHER! OR FATHER!

OMG!!!

SO IT WAS THAT, THAT WAS RUNNING PASSED ME ON THURS. AND MY DAD WAS SAYING, HE KILLED IT.

SO IF HE KILLED IT, IT MEANS THAT HE WOULD HAVE THROWN IT RIGHT?

BUT WHY ISSIT STILL HERE?

DON'T TELL ME, I'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH TWO COCKROACHES FOR 1 WEEK?!!!

OMG!!!

I AM SO NOT SLEEPING IN MY ROOM TONIGHT. OR MAYBE I'LL JUST USE THE COMP TILL SOMEONE WAKES UP!!!

ARGH!!!

IT HAD BEETR STAY THERE TILL THEN.

WANTED TO WAKE UP MY FATHER UP, BUT HE'S SLEEPING. OMG!!!

I HATE YOU COCKROACHES!!!

Thank You

yest watched COMING SOON!!!

OMG?!&^%$##@!!!

just went in n the idiotic face appeared! scared the shit out of me.

yes, easily scared. =) ape nk buat? lemah semangat...

anyway, at first i'm like wokays. UNTIL...

whn that STUPID GHOST tore her jaws down...OMG!!! thn everytime she appeared i'll just cover my eyes with my hoodie. hehe...

and we watched the midnite time! OMG!

HAHA!!!

cuz Lisha's little bro was telling her it's a nice show. Hmm...so Lisha was telling me to watch with her. and while watching, HAHA!!! she was blah-ing...hehe!!!

But, seriously if you wanna watch other scary movies, i dun mind pei-ing u..serious!

Thn just now watched Shophaholic...think it's better thn bride wars? seriously...

Yes, to my 3 male colleagues. It's a girls' show. =)

I think, i wanna start watching gossip girls. Ppl r fussing over it!

Ok this is irritating...CONTINUE SHAKE LAH. JUST CONTINUE...

Thank You

cont frm cbox...

in fact, mum even TEGUR u rite this morning?

seriously, u stress just SAY. u dun wan tell mum n dad also fine. just tell me will do. u got probx wif frens...bf...of course u wont want to tell mum n dad rite? funny rite?

thn tell me lah. ok i admit i dun now how to approach. if u wan, maybe u can go keep another blog or what thn let it all out.

i dun wan u to be like me, keep things to urself. c what i've become rite? shake like no one's business? cuz it's since young. u rmrbr rite back int hose days...EVERYDAY???

in fact i've been treated more strictly thn u. abit also cannot. watch tv after sch also cannot. must go bathe. i still rmrbed that, but they don't. fine, it's so long ago.

but one thing pls..mum n dad asked. just answer POLITELY. no nd shout. seriously, i dun like the way u shout at dad. last time if i were to do that, HAH!!!

how they treat u and how they treat me is diferrent!

so respect pls.

ok i admit, i'm a tyrant. even now. even told my frens tat i'm diff at home n outside. but now seriously, i'm trying hard to change.

of course lah, i'm unhappy. everytime i come home frm work, ur in front of the comp. and u played frm wad time???!!! on wkends, i dunnoe how many times hv i reminded u. 5pm onward ur out. but no. these days ur like hogging till late. 7? 8?

wkdays...up to 9pm or 10pm. hello???!!!

so pls. stop all this okays? u stress or unhappy, say. dun wan talk, fine. go typed a blog or write or anything.

whatever it is, respect mum n dad OKAY?!

seriously, if u go overboard, thn dun blame me if anything happens.

hope this morning made u wake up abit. (yes, i was awoke by mum's voice, but driffed off again soon)

***

wokays, just came back frm Setay's hse. hmm i tink i wanna go sleep. tml work TAU!!!

ok dunnoe my dad wan use anot.

adieus!!! =)

welcome a brand new wk. haiz..abit sianz lah. i seriously wan to throw that at least 10inch height worth of papers on my desk!!!

Thank You

seriously, i reallie dun feel at ease whn i'm here. i'm serious!

especially now!

in fact, this is what i've been feeling since last wk.

seriously.

i tink this feeling is alrdy too much. i'm more at ease whn i'm not here.

ok, i noe my post these days have been very emotional and scary. but wth. this is my blog. whr i let out my feelings...

seriously, i tink EVERYDAY i'm looking forward NOT to be here. it's only NOW i tink i'm embracing work. i mean, i'm embracing the feeling of not being here...

i'm very tired of all these.

i dunnoe whether that previous posts hv been read anot. in fact, maybe it is. and it's being commented.

good if u get my message. if not, thn you'll continue to drive me to my grave eh?

fine thn.

haiz. i seriously feel like just...

nvm. i'm so looking forward to tml.

yes Setay, i'll accompany u tml and come early yea.

*sigh*

i nd to get out. i nd to block all feelings. i've regretted my decision YEARS ago. i shd hv thrown tantrum. i shdn't even asked for it.

now i'm regretting. i'm seriously regretting.

i tink i'll stop here.

i dun wanna think anymore. i dun wan.

i dun wan to think abt this and it.

i've had enough.

conclusion: i tink the patience is over. i just dun feel comfortable anymore. used to looking forward to just be here but not anymore. i nd air. the air i'm breathing now is TOXIN.

ok done. enough. stop. dun tink.

nitez ppl!!! morning i mean...hees...

Thank You

My heart right now is very black, I've realised. I'm totally a diff person outside and at home.

Outside, my heart is pure. Inside my heart is like charcoal.

Why?

Neever you kind!

I am seriously very pissed right now...seriously!

Was mellowing down earlier but 've realised. Ppl turn to work cuz of status and power. But I'm gonna turn to work cuz I don't wanna be a charcoal. Seriously.

I am very pissed.

Thank You

let's tok abt the GOOD things first kaes.

1) I wan a laptop with 10GB broadband speed. =)

2) I wan an ipod mini. =)

3) I wan that colour pallettes (blushers, eyeshadows and hightlighters) from Coastal Sands. =)

4) I wan a big bag..enough space for my gym days. =)

5) I wan to go on a shopping spree without limitations. =)

6) I wan to go overseas. Holiday lah. =)

7) I wan a new phone. Desperately. Nokia 5800 red pls. =)

8) I wan...i wan...i wan!!!

Okies, 3, 4 and 7 are what I will make sure I have!

***

Ok for the bad thing...

But before that, this gonna get so bad. So if you don't wanna read thn just stop for today. Just get out frm this blog. This is something...personal I wld say? Haha! No, nope. Not gonna do something bad. Not gonna kill myself or anything foolish. No, no, no. I'm still me okies. I'm gg to still be existing. No, I'm not gg to be depressed or anything. You meet me, I'm still me. Hees...Maybe stop here lah. Okies, look forward to my NEXT post.

Entah bile sak!!!

I'm tired of all this shit alrdy. Why must i always give in?! To everyone-and i mean EVERYONE! I've had enough. Seriously. When I say I don't like means I DON'T LIKE.

2 things actually happened which trigger this.

Anyway, the conclusion is. I think I'm gonna stay away. Think I'm enjoying this?! Tink I'm enjoying sulking everytime? I don't care if you are lashing at me in your PRETTY PINK BLOG. I just don't care! You did that before right? And I believe that's not the first nor only. Maybe tml when you had the chance you're gonna do it again rite? Maybe with your friends. ALREADY.

Fine, I don't care. With this in mind, it's over. I'm so gonna make a decision. You can enjoy all you want! I will stop sulking already! You can stop seeing me sulk already.

Dammit! I don't care anymore! It's enough. I'm tired alrdy. They say be nice to you. Yea rite. Whn I did, what happen? Whn I gave you chances, what happen? Whn I tell you something, what happen? Did you do it? No...you dragged it till I'm so fed up and my blood just boils. Thn you made a fuss and all this.

Fine, da besar kan?! Fine. Enough okays. Enough.

Thank You

seriously, ever since i've started working, i am in NO mood to blog.

at all.

idk. maybe cuz I've too LESS time to go online FREELY.

but anyway, just gonna post up my blogposts frm work.

i've deleted my feb ones. i had them but decided it was too far back. so wth.

for the first wk of march. here it is!

***

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

I seriously think this group of people are very rude.

No gonna define but seriously!!! Shit them lah!!!

Ok, specifically what happened. It’s this HER. Look, I am talking. Can you just SHUT THE FUCK UP and wait until I’m done?

Very angry. Like I’ve said. I hate to be interrupted. And I mean it! So don’t think that I typed there just to fill up space.

SHIT HER LAH!!!

***

Seriously, I don’t know what’s going thru the minds of the people here. Issit all working adults react this way? Very weird.

So weird that I just find myself…very…NEVERMIND.

Work life.


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Okay, I am feeling bad now cuz…like I’ve told Fieza. It’s not that I am sad RIGHT NOW cuz of her. But more to I can’t go with my friends to ‘accompany’.

*sigh*

Blame it on MY self.

Ask the doctor why. I myself dunnoe why. And how. So FUCK OFF.

*sigh*

I’ve to let this feeling go. Everyone will understand. Everyone will. They will. She will. Yes, so don’t’ worry Ruzaina. Sincerity is impotant.

Ok, enough. Maybe was harsh on Fieza just now. Was abit worried thr whn she didn’t reply. Cuz her reply was fast.

Hmm sry yar babe. Just abit emotional there. Ala, you macam tk tau gitu. I ni kan gabra very easily.

Anyway, I’ve to think positive. I’ve a valid reason.

Ok, another matter. Actually I’m reallie pissed aat those princesses. They can, others can’t. like WHAT THE FUCK!

Yes, specifically to this one princess. In fact, I really hope that we won’t be in contact anymore. Like…whatever this person says, expect me to listen and give advice. But when it comes to MY turn to ‘whine’, this person will just give a blank face or reply that I’ll find talking to the wall, MUCH BETTER.

Like what the hell! This world doesn’t just revolves around you. That is one of the reason why I hate riches. You think your life is so smooth, others too?

GOSH!


Thursday, March 05, 2009

Not feeling too well. My nose is runny!!! HAHA!

Am feeling kinda sleepy…

Am I sick? Pls don’t make me take MC tml. Pls let it be next week. If not, very wasted. Friday!!! Harlow???

Ok doing work now.

***

Ok maybe only one.

I'm broke. Period.

Thank You